Alexandra Forbes
Nora A. Simone
“Oh my God! Is that him?”
Do you remember December 18, 2016?
I forever will because Alexandra Forbes (Alex) and I first met that evening at a Holiday party. “Oh my God! Is that him?” I remember thinking upon entering the party. Alone in the shadows, Alex appeared to be waiting for me. As I had admired his online postings for years, seeing him in person was surreal. A view of his photo-stream invites you to understand how he’s been an inspiration for many – me included. See: https://www.flickr.com/photos/andreaforbes/.
Since that first meeting, Alex and I have adventured a bit, gone sightseeing, dined out, and of course shared photoshoots. Our conversations transcend details of our pretty presentations – an attribute I’m especially fond of. He’s not just a pretty face.
Given Alex’s long-term influence as a crossdresser, I figured others would like to know more about the real person. To do this, Alex presents his philosophy below and some photos he’s offered as examples of his masterful crossdressing craft.
Let’s allow Alex to explain in his own words.
Flâner
I think a lot about my brand of crossdressing. The form I practice is firmly placed in the sexual spectrum, having almost no overlap with the gender spectrum. I think of it as an artform, yet, it is something more. A French word that describes my feeling is Flâner.
Flâner is a word used to describe the joy of merely wandering the streets or loitering at a café, getting lost in the wonder of the moment. Put another way, it is taking pleasure in simply being a part of the collage of sounds, sights, and smells that make up life and your part in it. It is about experiencing the beauty of the ‘now’.
As Alex, I like the feeling of merely existing
in the moment
I like the feeling of being outside my comfort zone, interacting in the world in what I consider a borderline scandalous manner. I like how manicured nails and the texture of fine fabrics make me feel dainty. I like how the gloss of my lips catches the sunlight. I like how the curves of my bosom and hips provide a feminine silhouette. I like how high heels inspire me to walk like a woman with purpose. I like how the slight sheen of my hosiery electrifies the appearance of my legs. I like how the scent of perfume and body spray follow me around like a faint, intoxicating whisper.
The experience of being a man dressed as a woman in a public arena is a mix of courage and vulnerability, ruggedness and refinement, anxiety and relaxation. It’s a cascade of feelings best experienced in light doses, for if I were to overindulge, I fear the magic would erode, evaporate.
This is the form of ‘Flâner’ I experience
To merely sit in the lobby of a hotel dressed as Alexandra is such a fulfilling experience in its own right, I rarely feel the need to escalate the experience. This is the form of ‘Flâner’ I experience; to pretend to be the physical manifestation of a woman and basking in the glow of that wonderment.
Crossdressing enables me to temporarily lower walls and explore beyond the sexual genesis of my impulse to mimic feminine characteristics. It has allowed me to journey from a primal source of shame to an exhilarating form of pride and joy. The people I have met and the friends I have made along this journey have empowered me to be more understanding of others who struggle with similar challenges imposed by draconian social norms.
I am very happy with how far I’ve come
I am very happy with how far I’ve come, not just in terms of my Alexandra persona, but more importantly how it has become an interwoven part of myself, a thin golden thread in a complex tapestry. True, if you pull on it, the tapestry wouldn’t really change all that much. But the golden accent would be missed; a deceptively minor ingredient that makes things, and life, a touch more interesting.
Having read this, don’t you agree that Alexandra
is much more than a pretty face? I do.
Years ago, I’d have described my mental state as confused and fearful. Yet it’s now unavoidable to reflect on how fortunate I am. Getting to know Alex in the same way as many of my best friends would not be possible without me presenting as Nora. Because of interesting new friends like Alex, my weakness has turned into a superpower.
Could this be true for you?
